


Blundering Interview

by aleysiasnape



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24479437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleysiasnape/pseuds/aleysiasnape
Summary: Gilderoy agrees to do an interview from Rita.
Relationships: Gilderoy Lockhart/Rita Skeeter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Blundering Interview

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Hedgwig's crackfic week 5/25-5/30. The pairing I picked Gilderoy/Rita. I used grammarly for my beta. So any mistakes it didn't catch are mine!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

Gilderoy Lockhart preened in front of the magic mirror for the umpteenth time before his interview with Rita Skeeter. _Who knows maybe it'll be a fun interview._ he thought with a sparkle in his smile.

Rita arrived on time. She strolled into the empty DADA classroom with her high heels clicking on the stone floor with her magic quill and pad following her.

She glanced around and wondered how the hell did Lockhart get to teach DADA this year. _This should have gone to Professor Snape. He would have been brilliant._

Rita had a copy of Magical Me in her hot little hands. She had read it, of course, and thought it was a bunch of malarkey. So she took it upon herself to interview Gilderoy.

He came flouncing down the stairs, with cape billowing. Rita smirked, _Severus billows better. Score one to Professor Snape!_

"Drinks before we start the interview, my lady?" Gilderoy waved his hand towards tea, booze, and she squinted, seeing an unmarked liquor bottle.

"I'm game. I'll try that one." She pointed to the unmarked bottle.

Gilderoy grinned. It was his own special brew of dark rum, firewhsky, and bourbon. He thought it tasted great.

He grabbed a goblet and poured a little bit of it just for her to taste.

Rita sipped on it and coughed, "Strong, a little too strong!" feeling her eyes watering. After a while, a feeling of euphoria came over her as she eyed Gilderoy up and down like he was a piece of meat.

"Now, now, interview first!" Gilderoy chided her mildly, wagging his finger at her.

"Alright first question, how did you become so successful overnight?" she thought she would lay it out there for him.

He blinked. _Damn it all! She's on to me!_ He made a move she thought was unexpected, and that was kissing her soundly.

Rita broke the kiss, "Hey! Interview first!" she smacked him on the shoulder.

He sighed in defeat and sat down. Gilderoy was sweating by the time Rita got to her tenth question on the interview. He was eyeing her up and down after drinking his surprise mixture.

"Are we almost done?" he whined as the magical quill was scratching, erasing, and re-scratching. Gilderoy leaned over to see what it was writing down.

"Now, now! It's supposed to be a surprise!" she wiggled her finger at him.

Sighing again in defeat, he leaned back, fingering his collar. "Is it hot in here? I'm not feeling quite well."

Rita looked at him admonished. "Is this how you treat all your fans? Trying to escape their questions?"

She eyed her quill, which had stopped writing. It was waiting for her to continue with the interview. Looking over the pad, she hmmm'd. "I think we are done!"

"Finally!" he was exasperated, flinging his cape to the floor. He started to undo his shirt watching Rita's expression. 

"What if someone comes in here?"

"Fine." He ground out as he reached for his wand. _Collorportus_ He prayed that this simple spell would work for him.

Rita watched the door flung wide open. Her eyes widened in surprise as she realized what she knew all along. "Bye!" she exclaimed and disapparated quickly before Gilderoy could obliverate her.

"Damnation! She knows!"


End file.
